Saturday, July 30, 2011

DOOMWATCH - John Scott - "Island Of The Ghouls" (1972)

It's called "DOOMWATCH" and with an uplifting title like that, what are you going to expect out of the UK in 1972! If it's doom and gloom you want, you got it here! Great title card!!

It's not like the people in charge didn't also cause the problem, No, nothing like that! "Doomwatch" addresses the problem, and it's not exactly a barrel of laffs, in fact, it's just no fun at all, dismal, and horribly depressing!

A remote island can create an isolated environment that is not subject to normal rules or society! Therein lies the problem!!

Swiss Toggenburg goats are simply the best! They produce a lot more milk, and have more personality than Nubians! A good milker will give you around three gallons a day, and their personalities will rival that of the best dog you ever had! High quality fresh goat milk tastes like melted Häagen-Dazs ice cream if it's handled properly, it's that sweet! I honestly believe that goats are the most maligned and misunderstood domestic animals on the planet! They do have horns, and the males do smell like the Devil in season, but it's almost kriminal how all the other myths about them have been exaggerated for decades!

This island has a very distinctive problem, and there ain't nothing funny or tropical about it!

Although he wasn't in many horror films, Ian Bannen, here as Dr. Del Shaw, was also in another film we'll be doing soon, "From Beyond The Grave." Dr. Shaw has been sent to the island, because all the reports say something strange is going on there!

The nearest thing to a female romantic interest is played by Judy Geeson as the seasonal teacher Victoria Brown! Judy was Pamela Dare in "To Sir With Love," Mary Gloucester in "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush," and Jacki in "Goodbye Gemini." This is as close as Del and Victoria are going to get to a roll in the hay!!

The square shooter who has now lost his aim is George Sanders in the role of the "The Admiral!" He should have been a Rear Admiral, because he's a pretty big ass!!

The island people are being poisoned by chemicals and leaking radioactive material dumped off their coastline, but they attribute their mutating society to inbreeding, so they are very wary of any outside intervention, so it's that old basic premise, they're damned if they do, and damned if they don't!!

Public relations, lies and deceit, there ain't nothing like it!

Not only is the local population becoming horribly disfigured, they are also very standoffish, and have a penchant towards violence!

"Doomwatch" was based on a UK TV show that ran for three seasons from 1970 to 1972, and starred John Paul as Dr. Spencer Quist, and Simon Oates as Dr. John Ridge. "Doomwatch" the TV series's first episode was called "The Plastic Eaters" and the last show, entitled "Sex and Violence," explored 'Moral Pollution' and was never aired! Neither Ian Bannen or Judy Geeson were ever on the TV show!

In the meantime, the locals keep dropping like flies!

NO!! Everything's NOT all right!!

The serious music for "Doomwatch" was composed by the brilliant John Scott. We've written about Mr. Scott before if you feel like searching. He was the composer of the music in such films as "The Million Eyes of Sumuru," "Berserk," "Trog," and "Hexen Geschändet Und Zu Tode Gequält," or a literal translation of "Disgraced Witches And Tortured To Death!" As far as we know, the amazing John Scott is still going strong today!

There are some frights and scares, but mostly "Doomwatch" is a film about confusion and misunderstanding!

"Doomwatch" was directed by Peter "Taste The Blood Of Dracula" Sasdy, written by Clive "The Crezz" Exton, and the outstanding makeup was by Tom "The Shining" Smith!

"Doomwatch" would be a great film to watch on any cold and rainy Sunday morning with some Mimosas, some shots of Cabrito, some barbecued Portabellos, and somebody you really dislike, like your cousin or any politician, and can be found on Netflix!

Friday, July 29, 2011

MASTER OF HORROR / Jack H. Harris Enterprises - 1965

Welcome to Friday Night Drive-In with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Tonite's offering is a fairly obscure (not even 1 review on IMDb!) flick made in Argentina and produced by Jack H. Harris. Jack had already made THE BLOB, THE 4-D MAN and DINOSAURUS. I swear, there was supposed to be another Blob movie recently, I wonder what happened to that project?!

Hey, I used to have that poster! This movie was originally paired with another Harris production, MASTER OF TERROR, which is none other than a renamed version of THE 4-D MAN!! Pretty danged slick, Jack.

I know, the title card says 'The' Master Of Horror! There are no credits for the music. Obviously, it's stock music from who knows where, so, my job's like, done here...

Lettuce now bring in our littlest Dungeon helper and buddy, the one, the only, sure 'nuf, itz... Rufus The Gnat!! Yippie, yappie, yahooie!.. Rufus is all set to push the big red 'GO' button and start the show, so, push the button now, Rufus! Here's... MASTER OF HORROR!

The movie's a trilogy of the Edgar Allen Poe stories, "The Case Of Mr. Valdemar," "The Cask Of Amontillado" and "The Tell-Tale Heart." It starts with the house maid sitting down to read some stories on a stormy night, horror stories by Edgar Allan Poe, that is!..

In "The Case Of Mr. Valdemar," a noted physician tries out some of his new hypnotic experiments on a woman at a mental hospital. Dude looks like Barry Manilow, or, visa versa!

Then, he finds out Mr. Valdemar's dark secret... Valdemar looks like Dick Miller in THE TERROR!

I'm comin' to join you, Elizabeth!..

He tampered in God's domain!..

"The Cask Of Amontillado" has a timely tale to tell, all about what can happen when a stranger comes to town for the wine festival and then seduces your wife... Oh, by the way, big boobs make excellent pillows!

The plan is so simple for inn keeper hubby, invite lover boy down to your wine cellar and get him drunk, so drunk that he passes out...

And, when he wakes from his drunken stupor, he finds this...

Hubby s'plains that he was spying on them as they made love in the forest!

He shows the doomed man that now he can spend eternity with his lover! And, he will just tell the police that you both ran away together, so devilish!!!

The last story is "The Tell-Tale Heart." This grisled old shop keeper has hired his nephew to assist him there.

It is the nephew's duty to make sure all the clocks are wound daily and that they all chime exactly at the same time, he wants perfection!!.. Wow, perverted old men!

In the meantime, the nephew's only friend, a handicapped boy, has died mysteriously. Uncle seems to be thrilled for some reason.

Nephew notices imperfection with uncle's crippled hand and blind eye. That night, the nephew puts a pillow over the face of his uncle and puts a stop to his annoying, beating heart!

Officials come to ask questions about the disappearance of the shop keeper.

The nephew tries to explain but is quite insane himself!

The nephew spills the beans, so, they pull up the floor planks and find uncle resting there!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??