Saturday, December 24, 2011

SANTA CLAUS - Antonio Diaz Conde - "The Fabulous Realm of the Candy-Stick Palaces!" (1959)

I'm not kidding, "SANTA CLAUS" just might be THE creepiest movie I saw this year. If you have thought that there was some kind of weird correlation between Santa and Satan, well, then this is the film that's going to push you over the edge of disbelief!

First off, Santa doesn't live at the North Pole, Santa lives in heaven!

Santa has a Nativity Scene! Those people who made the Post Man up in Washington state stop wearing a Santa Claus suit because it offended them, should be mandated to watch this film 5 or 6 times in a row while subsiding on a diet of nothing but churros and horchatas!

It looks like the designer's of Santa'a pad were from some place like Istanbul or Baghdad!

Get thee behind me K. Gordon Murray!! The music for "Santa Claus" was composed by the brilliant Antonio Díaz Conde, with a big tip of the hat to James Pierpont, the composer of the original "Jingle Bells." Antonio has at least 269 composing credits to his name! We've written about him many times before because of movies like "Neutron Battles The Karate Assassins," "The Robot Versus The Aztec Mummy," and "El Planeta De Las Mujeres Invasoras" etc, etc forever! K. Gordon Murray himself does the narration!

I'd like to focus on one thing, all the childrens of the world are up there too, helping Santa do his thing, kind of like Disneyland's agonizing "It's A Small World" ride! But.......

Isn't all this just too cute? Cute kids, cute sets, but........

......then, WTF!? All the kids are now packing heat!! I really got a little mixed-up at this point, but I guess that's because too many things go smashing into each other all at the same time, and maybe something got a little confused in the translation!!

For some reason, the brats from America are little redneck geeks singing way out of tune!! I could explain all this, but it would obviously be a waste of time.

José Luis Aguirre 'Trotsky' is El Diablo! So, just what the Hell is the Devil doing in a Santa Claus Christmas story? I told you it was an effed up mess!

Is this plastic Santa a dig at commercial values, or just freakin' weird?

"Steal the doll, Lupita, take the doll, it's what you want, and what you need, take the doll Lupita!" Yep, that's right! This innocent child is being tempted and tormented by The Devil himself! Like he doesn't have anything better to do!

Here's how Santa Claus keeps track of who is naughty and who is nice, with a gigantic freakin' telescope!! Can you spell "Big Brother?"

It's hard for me to imagine what life is like in a house that has lighting like this 24/7!! What's in the box Pops, a giant magnum of champagne or a refrigerator?

Satan comes back to torture Lupita in her dreams, this poor girl doesn't stand a chance!

Just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder!!

This shot of Lupita just screams Merry Christmas, doesn't it!! If you can imagine it, this film would be Lupita Quezadas's only appearance on celluloid! Do you think she was possibly emotionally scarred by the whole process?

I like that fact that the people who made this movie seem like they had never heard of Santa Claus, Rudolph and the other reindeer, or "The Night Before Christmas" before! They just made up their own rules as they went along!!

If you really want to, you can find "Santa Claus" streaming on Netflix, or if you just want to watch the trailer, head on over to The Professor's place, "Magic Carpet Burnout!" Merry Christmas to all and to all a freakin' good night!!!

Late Breaking News: "Santa Claus" can be had as a free download at the Internet Archive........Go and get your love right HERE!!!


Prof. Grewbeard said...

beautiful post! as to the design of the castle, it makes perfect sense when you know that the St. Nicholas legend originated in Turkey. just perfect, ya'll have a Merry Whatsis, i gotta go open presents now, this is no time to play horsie!...

Lacey said...

You can also find it as the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode on YouTube. It is very enjoyable this way.

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