Wednesday, August 31, 2011

LA PERVERSA CARICIA DE SATÀN - Alberto Argudo - "The Wicked Caresses of Satan" (1975)

As much as "Kiss Me Deadly" was easily one of THE best films I have ever seen in my life, "Devil Kiss" on the other hand, is the direct opposite! As much as we generally like to give credit to people just for making a movie, this film's alternate title could have easily been "Besa Mi Culo," because, unlike the way it is down here in The Dungeon, I think that's how much they cared!

Hey everybody, get off the floor, and put your hands together and give Nick Cave some credit here! (What do you mean, that's not Nick Cave?) I'm freakin' confused! Oh, Man, What a party! The action was so hot, olde Elmer there almost had a heart attack!!

It's a hot and sweaty standing room only crowd, so get back and give it up for the man from Exotica, S.A. and his gal Wednesday!

Not my style, this is the kind of people you run into at Tabonga's gala affairs! Is that goatee really painted on? Is there anything real in this movie?

I did hours of research to find out this sign actually translates to "(C'est des) Conneries" or "This is Bullshit!"

Silvia Solar has been in some pretty cool 60's films like "Danger!! Death Ray" and the Jerry Cotton movie "Death and Diamonds," and later, a buttload of Eurotrash like "Night Of The Howling Beast," "Crimson, The Color Of Blood," and "Cannibal Terror!" Silvia just passed away this last May! Her companion was born Claude Albert Plaut, and followed the same basic career path, and has credits as Jean Caumont, Alphonse Gautier, Oliver Mathew, Oliver Mathews, Oliver Matho, Olivier Matho, Claude Mathot, Oliver Mathot, Mathot, Oliver Matot, Oliver Matthau, Oliver Matthew, and Claude Plaut! I'm thinkin' maybe Claude didn't even know how to spell his name!!

I was just about to send this flick back to Netflix without watching any more when this guy came on and announced that the BIG fashion show was about to get started!!

All right, all you gals get ready for the big show!!

Besides this movie, composer Alberto Argudo has only two more credits, "La Diosa Salvaje" and "Exorcismo!" All three films were made in the same year of 1975!

How the Hell can any red blooded All-American guy fast forward past some good lookin' gal in a red, white, and blue striped pants suit, with some jive ass music that sounds like something live from The Fillmore playing in the background followed by "Yikes Stripes?" That's right, you can't!

The Tilt-O-Whirl is followed by more stripes and green cut-out bell-bottoms! I was going to call it quits right here, because as one of the party-goers states, "Myself, I preferred the fashion show!" and 93 1/2% of the rest of the film just sucks extremely well!

Jeepers Creepers, where'd you get those creepy peepers??

Oh Gawd, nice hiding place jerk! Guys like this give dudes a bad name!

I will give everybody involved credit for getting at least this one excellent shot out of 89 minutes of footage!

Digging for buried treasure you might just dig up some good zombie material!

What the Hell is that skinny Zombie staring at now?

"Oh, tell me, will ya, darlin', why you look so bad tonight? There's bags 'round your eyeballs, which is red instead of white!

"Well, it was this-a-way: you came when I was alone, shucks, I shoulda knowed that you was tim tayshun! - Red Ingle

Periodically to get money from The Government, we have to make a public service announcement, and tonight, I have to stress to you kids one more time, DO NOT smoke in bed!! You might get killed by a skinny green zombie!!

Where the heck did everybody go? The Zombie is Moisés Augusto Rocha in the last of his weirdo film roles!

Is that you Harry??

No, it's not ME, you stupid bitch!!!

Uh, Oh! Looks like it's starting to spread! Go Evelyn, next thing you know, it's going to be "Get Crude in the Desert and the Oil Gush Forth!"

I'm pretty sure this film was made right about the time that a large portion of the Western female population decided that sewing was not for them! Praise the rest of ya'll!!

Oh, I think she's going to be all right, nothing that a good night's sleep won't cure! Right!!!

3 comments:

prof. grewbeard said...

one word, three syllables- eurotrash!

TABONGA! said...

For being so crappy, the music and stills are superb!

Kev D. said...

Someone killed Charlie Brown and made a jumpsuit out of his shirt!

And put it in a terrible movie!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??